Look at the pictures above. You may see me having fun at the beach with my sister and climbing the ropes smiling.
When I look at these pictures, all I remember is being molested by my father. My mom was away on a family
business trip in the US when we lived in Israel and my dad took care of us.
Yes, he took us to the beach and to different places. He’s the one that took these pictures to show that we are having a good time.
No one knew I was molested during that period. My dad threatened to kill me if I told anyone. At age 7 you believe what your dad tells you. Yes, I kept that secret for many years, because I thought he’d kill me.
As a teenager I thought about ending my life. We lived on the 4th floor in Tel Aviv and one time I sat on the windowsill contemplating to jump. My feet were dangling out the window. I felt like I was a bad girl and deserved what he did to me. I just didn’t know what I did wrong. I felt worthless and that no one cared about me.
Another time I tried to stab myself in the stomach with a big knife.
The other day I was asked simple questions by a friend about my childhood, which I could not answer.
My dad took away my childhood memories. All I have are the pictures that show me where I was or what I did, but I do not have a recollection of it.
I forgave my dad for what he’d done to me because holding on to that anger, sadness, confusion, disbelief and any other emotions, would only hurt me. I had to let go of that baggage.
I flew out to Israel as my dad was on his death bed in a vegetative state. I told him thank you for giving me life, I love you, and I forgive you. Please know when you’re ready to go, that I forgive you. It was more for me to have closure and for him to know that he can go in peace.
Today I want to help empower anyone, especially women and children who’ve been abused in their lives. I want anyone who’s been through any abuse to know that it is not the end of the world. What happened to you is not your fault.
There’s hope, and there’s an amazing future ahead.
We are not what happened to us. We are beautiful loving souls.
I am here to serve.
Love & light Namaste